“There are many more layers to innocence than one might ever imagine, and we are ever unaware of them until each barrier is breached.”― Paula ReedHester: The Missing Years of the The Scarlet Letter……..

Night Wind, graphite on paper A4, (8x10)…...

Night Wind, graphite on paper A4, (8×10)……

Part of the story, an aside……..

My brother, Number 5 (with me being number 1) of my siblings, lived in Houma with his Cajun princess bride. All of us had chipped in and made their wedding possible in the house in New Orleans. Only my aunt and myself were happy for him and his beautiful bride. The rest of my siblings, including Capitán, thought they could have picked someone better for him. There was great and inappropriate hatred expressed by sisters number 2, 3 and 6 that made the bride cry. It was both a happy and sad day.

So when my sister (number 6) came to New Orleans to stir the pot of evil with my aunt, her long fingers reached out to my brother. Unbeknown to her case manager she was mingling and meeting with the local drug lords and even some who had ventured from Miami to take advantage of her semi freedom. I saw her with these burly types who reeked of darkness; and when she involved my innocent and emotionally slow brother I felt she had gone too far and stepped forward. I tried to tell her case manager who laughed at me. I even called the local FBI to report her but her case manager had already notified her and she had contacted Capitán who was now in town, who told the FBI that I was jealous and trying to defame my poor sister in order to keep all the family money…. and they believed him and told me not to bother them again. (My family in New New Orleans did have some very powerful and corrupt contacts.)

So the evilness of it all began to take shape as my sister began to ply my brother with drugs and convince him to leave his wife and children and go back to Ecuador into the loving (?) arms of Capitán, the man who had emotionally tortured and abused him as a child.

When Michael called me and asked me what he should do, I immediately called sister #2 in Ecuador to ask what the devil was going on and why. My sister responded, ” You are not considered a member of this family and what we do is none of your business. If we need your help, someone will contact you and tell you what to do.”

Like hell they will, I told her…her need to dominate and control everything had just gone too far. “Remember”, I said, “when we were children and if we did not do what you wanted us to do you would tell us “do not speak to me further, you are dead in my eyes”? Well my dear sister, please consider yourself dead in MY eyes.”

I did what I could but one day Michael was gone and his wife called me in tears. There was nothing I could do. In his innocence he could not defend against all the lies they told him and once back in Ecuador, they took his passport and his life became misery as they tried to make him into something he could not be. It took him nearly 3 years to escape and return to his wife and children, but he was changed, his wife was changed, so much damage had been done that could not be reversed.

Although I stayed in touch with my sister-in-law during his absence and did what I could to help her, I did not see my brother again for many years. By that time I had disowned all my family and although I loved him dearly I could not keep contact with him for fear the family would use him to get to me, he never could understand that I was trying to protect him. We would both hug each other and cry.

It would be many more years later I would get a call; from sister #2 saying “Michael is near death and demands to talk to you.”

I said my tearful goodbyes and told him how much he was loved. I would only later learn from a stray conversation, that he was divorced and had stage 4-lung cancer.

I spoke to my sister-in-law once once a few years later when my mother died, but it was only a casual conversation about Michael’s share of the inheritance and since my mother had basically disinherited me, I could not answer any of her questions; I could only advise her to contact the attorney in charge of the estate.

I often wondered what happens when all the barriers to innocence are breached, do we take the remaining shards and try to hold onto the illusion of what we once held to be true? Or do we rebuild a new illusion that allows us to carry on as we discard the shroud that once tried to devour our souls?

What does happen to the dreamer when there are no more dreams?

  1. Friedl Freddy says:

    Ohh…darling…ohh precious soul…Ohhhh my beautyful sis of my heart…Reading this…it makes me speechless!!!!! Your own flesh and blood!!!!! …what low life’s!!! My arms are reaching out to you…the only gooood thing coming out of all this is: that you stayed truthful to your divine soul…and that you can look into the mirror every morning and face you with honesty and ” a clean vest “!!!
    I feel sooo sorry for you…you truly did not deserve all this…but then..which divine soul does???…chit happens all the time!!!

    I truly hope and pray, that you now have PEACE within and can forget this bloody past!!! Carma knows everybody’s address…no need to wish them anything…

    You know darling, I have had similar happenings. When I was rich…they all came like vultures…when I started going through this almost soul distracting divorce…loosing everything I had…they were all gone!! Including my twin brother!!! This nearly broke my heart…They never offered financial help even when I became a social security Nr….But you know, I bathed my soul…my head was bloody…but never unbowed…
    And now…I am on my own…no families..just my sons far away..and I worked at myself…and now I can truly say, darling, I am happier than I have ever been…!!!..poor but happy….

    My life has been hard …straight from birth…but…look at me…look at you my sweetheart…we are warriors!!!! and no one can take that from us!!!!!!!!!!

    I have a famous artist friend here on FB…I told him about you and showed him two paintings…I will let you know via messenger what he said!!!! I guess this could be fruitful…I am always trying to see HOW I can get people to see and admire your great talent 😉😍😁😃😀😆😉😍💝

    You are my darling sis I never had…I love you soo…sending you all the blessings you need Amen ❤️🙏


  2. Emmy says:

    Yes, I often wondered too ………., dear Cassandra! It sounds like a horrible fiction story and I know it is based on truth!

    Liked by 1 person

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