“A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt to be dangerous.” – Alfred Adler

Invitation for New Zealand Exhibit

I have been experiencing a strange sense of awareness. A feeling of having already experienced things I just learn about or is about to happen.  Not unlike feeling like you’ve reached the end of the internet when every forward you get you’ve seen before.  Like that but different.  Not deja vu, but a future vu!  It sometimes stops me in my tracks and grabs hold of my conscience with a clarity  I really wish I could explain.

It is not helpful in any way I can think of.  It brings no peace, no satisfaction….I just see things with such completeness, coupled with understanding, mixed with fragility….not everything, just somethings, less important things, things of no consequence or better said, no known consequence.

Whatever it is, it just is………perhaps its nothing more than living in the season of lies that have become truths to some and half-truths meant to deceive; of watching the vivid hatefulness of one political party against the other in real-time, on the streets in public places, the never-ending fear mongering.  Whatever happens this election, our divided America will get what it asks for and like anything we ask for, there will be consequences. There always seem to be consequences. Nothing is free, a price must be paid.  Not unlike sacrifices of olden days to appease the gods.

On another front, there is still no job, no job offers, no phone calls, no nothing.  I had to stop my volunteer work in town. The cost of gas had become too much. With money going out and noting coming it, cuts had to be made. I had a choice:  use the $100.00 a month it was costing me to drive into town just to give myself something of value to do twice a week, or put it towards keeping my art alive.  Art won. They did not understand, it was I thought, rather amazing for an organization dealing with the poor. Or perhaps it as simple as: if you don’t act or look poor, how can you be poor?  So many levels of poor, a matter of perception. I am better than some, worse than others.

The two little paintings I sent to New Zealand in the spring will be part of a 4-person exhibit at the Lake House Gallery outside of Auckland the end of this month (see invitation above)!  My saved $100.00 will pay the entry fee and shipping cost for another exhibit I will be part of at the Coral Springs Museum of Art in Florida come November. That will finish off the year.

Priorities.  I will just have to find a way to amuse myself after next week as I send out more resumes and keep my fingers crossed. I am officially out of canvas but still have tons of paper and there are a few canvases that would not be missed if painted over. Being a creative and intuitive person, I am sure that is a goal I can accomplish.  Perhaps I can also figure out my little future visions and what they mean.

Perhaps I’ll even find a job or sell paintings, or find out pigs can really fly! hahahaha!   I am so ready for the grand awakening of consciences that the Mayans predicted!




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