Posted: July 25, 2012 in painting adventures, Women
Tags: , , , , ,

“Life is like walking through Paradise with peas in your shoes.”Charles Edward JeringhamThe Maxims of Marmaduke


Fish, oil, 35×53 cm (14×21)


This morning I awoke with information swirling though my brain.  The proverbial light bulb was on and I could see clearly in all directions.

First things first.  The exhibit was a great success. I managed to sell 2 pieces, 10 books and several dozen note cards. I covered my expenses and made a tiny profit, which shall go to pay off some art charges on my credit card.  WhooHoo!  Not like the old days, but it was an immense pleasure to be appreciated.

The little gallery is only opened 3 days a week and since the day of the opening I have been in a quandary of what to do now!  So many empty hours to fill and my mind begins to wander, to think and question. Naturally.

The question I began to ponder was why I painted in series. Most artist pick a track and stay with it their entire lives.  I would just dance to a tune until it was exhausted and then put on a new record.  Well, that thought led to more thoughts about my life and that brings us back to this morning.

The light bulb was shinning brightly and I saw the correlation between my paintings and my life.  I realized my entire life was like a series of short stories, each complete from beginning to end. Now sitting on the book shelf all neatly bound.  The only thing that connected any of them was me as the main protagonist. I lived in a series of events and when they were finished I moved on to what lay ahead.

Which is why I now question where am I going?  At the same time I realized that this just may be what I am and on my death-bed I will ask that same question” What now?

So I went and painted some goldfish. I do not know why, I do not know if I will do more, it seemed like fun, but then they looked liked something I might have done before and I became discouraged. Because there is a great barrier inside of me, preventing me from repeating anything or copying anything.  It all must be fresh, it must be new and it must be original, it must be mine.

Now, that is a gentle burden I can bear.  Because the light bulb also told me that my best years were over, that series complete, bound and on the shelf.   Now it said, was a time for something else.

Suddenly I truly understood and felt a shadow slip away.  A new page for a new book.  I have not a clue what the first sentence might be!

…and yes, I am still looking for work!

  1. Betsy says:

    Very insightful and thoughtful…but I do not think your best days are over. I think it is like a caterpillar that transforms to a butterfly.


  2. donna says:

    Your writings make my day….beautiful.


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