Posted: March 14, 2012 in painting adventures
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“If I could turn back the years, if I could see though my fears, if I could write the story’s end…..”  old Irish Lament

oil on canvas, 30x40

So easy to sink into a black hole, to lose confidence in one self, then to bounce back again only to drop down that rabbit hole again.  If I could write the story’s end.  Makes one wonder if we could do that, would there be a middle or would we jump from point A to part C and never look back.

Just when I thought everything was hunky-dory even with all the schedule changes and bullying by the new manager, everything got progressively worse in a short time and with no choices or remedies available, I quit the bakery. There were cheers by one and tears by others.

Twice in a year, never has this happened to me before! Looks horrible on a resume!  It was definitely a sign that I had no business doing what I was doing… what was I suppose to be doing?  As icing on the proverbial cake, my wonderful one woman show was now going to be a two-person show as the gallery moves to smaller quarters.  So, after much self degradation, silent suffering, yelling and screaming, I went into my studio and painted Houses of Moon Mesa. (above)

Ooooooo…I said, that was fun, been wanting to continue that series. I felt better. Then the phone rang and my world changed.

I was offered a potential opportunity. Never to shirk a challenge, I leaped into the fray and have been busy making edible flowers for cakes. Creating a sample display of what I could accomplish to show a potential buyer.  Oh, how wonderful is this, I asked myself.

Then there was other good news, my painting “On the Edge of Time” had been accepted into a major exhibition in New Jersey….how marvelous is that? I did a little jig. The first time in over 4 years.  Perhaps this is a sign, a sign that I had to go out and learn, learn, learn so I could do and perhaps teach.

I have a little time before I need to start worrying about doing my part for the family finances, so I will do the most I can now and throw it out to universe and see what happens…..a little leap of faith.

Night turns into day, rabbit holes into puddles.  I do not think I want to write the story’s end.   Second chances are rare gifts, they are not to be squandered, my fondant flowers are blooming. Must finish 2 more of my Works in Blue series even if all do not get shown.  New painting ideas are forming, my muse is laughing. There is not enough time in one day!

Thank you, I say to the universe,  it is a good beginning, I may stumble a bit more, but onward to point B.

  1. Donna Martin says:

    My site I have listed here, is a work in progress…but if you click on the photo of my little grandson Jasper – you will hear a lovely tune my son Kevin has written for my site…Its called Aware…He is the one who is working on it in LA so its going slow but I think it will be very cool…He has connected me with Mayan because of my sharing a previous life reading I had a while back….and they took me to Mexico …very interesting…


  2. Donna Martin says:

    I can so relate to your writing….the rabbit holes and the puddles….and if I did not believe that the universe knew my needs, I don’t know what I would do….it has provided my family to help me walk the walk of the older years…a family I never really had – even as a child. The gift of our art, as different as it may be, is the other life line my universe has given to me and I am grateful…and asks me to trust how the story will end…the important thing I know to be true, is my children will never look back and try to understand the loneness I remember, They have a solid connection, and are doing it with their families…maybe that is the end of my story…but I know it is not the end of theirs. I so appreciate your sharing your spirit in friendship that miles keep apart, but with the click of a key – I can find motivation and support….You have touched many lives…I am sure of this…Namaste Donna


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